The “One Day at a Time” actor, who lately joined two TV shows, published a cookbook, and went through a breakup, said, “I have learned so much more about my strength.”
Valerie Bertinelli is offering her lessons learned from a trying year.
about Friday, the One Day at a Time star posted a delicate Instagram post about “some of the most emotionally excruciating eight months” of her personal and professional life.
The actress debuted presenting Bingo Blitz on the Game Show Network, joined The Drew Barrymore Show as a lifestyle guru, and also published Indulge, a cookbook. “And I still got my exhausted, sleepless ass up in the morning, put on a good face, and shown up, when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sob,” Bertinelli said. “This is not to say I feel sorry for myself because I don’t.”
After divorcing Tom Vitale in 2022, Bertinelli started seeing writer Mike Goodnough in January 2024 but finally split ways this past November.
“Nobody has the market corned on grief and heartache,” Bertinelli said. People constantly go through difficult s—. You simply follow the necessary actions to overcome what you have to overcome.”
Bertinelli sees the period as a teaching moment notwithstanding her challenges. “I don’t know that I would change any of it,” she said. “I now know far more about my strength, my shortcomings, my endurance, my value, and my patience. I’m good with the knowledge that I still have more inner work to accomplish. The quality of the job is excellent.
She posted on instagram with Caption “I go back and forth and hesitate sharing vulnerable posts like I so often used to because I put the useless opinions of the minimal creepers above the many of you who have made this page so special. Those of you who understand and feel not so alone by sharing your own struggles too.
So fuck ‘em. 😘I started two jobs in different states and writing my new book all while going through some of the most emotionally excruciating eight months of my life. And I still got my exhausted, sleepless ass up in the morning, put on a good face, and showed up, when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sob.
This is not to say I feel sorry for myself because I don’t. Nobody has the market cornered on grief and heartache. People go through hard shit all the time. You just do what you have to do to get through what you have to get through.And I don’t know that I would change any of it. I’ve learned so much more about my strength, my weaknesses, my patience, my resilience, and my worth. I still have more inner work left to do (I don’t believe that we’re ever really done and that shadow can be a lil’bitch 🤗) and I’m okay with that. It’s the good work.
If I could give you anything of value from my experience it would be this; don’t let the challenging days make you forget how far you’ve actually come. No matter what, always believe in your core self. Do not allow the opinions of others or their experience with you, color what you think of yourself. You did your best with what you knew at the time.
Betrayal of your own self-worth is even worse than another’s betrayal. You deserve kindness, respect, and confidences that can be trusted. Especially and mostly from yourself.
We’re here on this little floating rock to learn and to love.Learn to love yourself.
Even that damn shadow 😅
And if/when we fall or get pushed down again, we can either wallow, navel-gaze and be a victim or we can get our asses back up and live our big, beautiful life. Do that.
XO 💋”
The Hot in Cleveland star also provided the advice she has acquired from living through a convoluted period in her life. “If I could give you anything of value from my experience it would be this: Don’t let the difficult days make you forget how far you have actually come,” she posted. “Always believe in your inner self, whatever else. Don’t let other people’s views or experience with you define who you believe of yourself. With what you knew at the time, you performed as best you could.”
“When we fall or get pushed down again, we can either wallow, navel-gaze, and be a victim, or we can get our asses back up and live our big, beautiful life,” the actress said at closing her long letter. “Learn to love yourself.”
Many months after they split, Bertinelli wished Goodnough well on Instagram in March. Reflecting in a since-deleted post, “I look at life with a different perspective and caring because of my experiences and conversations with him,” she said. “And he’s been a huge part of helping me heal from some old childhood wounds I never knew what to do with, or even where to start.”
“We may no more be a couple, but you will always hold a very special place in my heart,” she said. “Love you.”
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